Don’t Matter

Oh hello! Many things happened in the past month and thank God I got regularized from my recent work. Although I’m still in the midst of improvement and I still commit mistakes a million times. Which opened my eyes to the realization that you really can’t fathom if the friend/s you’re with is real or not not until you see how they treat you in times of failure and despair. If they still treat you the same way they do when need something from you, then you’re blessed to have them in your life because they’re real.

Suffice to say that it’s hard for me to pinpoint as to who I consider as my bestfriend nowadays. Had some whom I’ve been very close for quite sometime but ended up as either just one of my acquaintances or worst, some even grew distant due to some irrelevant reason of theirs. Have people who I became friends from the start (or so I thought, sadly..) but next thing I know, they tend to be absurdly bipolar being too kind to me at times then will turn to my number one hater in just a snap.

Sometimes I just don’t know who to trust. That’s why I tend to create a wall between me and some people (to my crush, even, would you believe??!). It’s like I’m too afraid to open myself to them due to the fear of getting attached to them too much and might end up getting hurt and left alone again. I guess you really can’t force yourself to be part of someone’s life if they intentionally not let you be part of it.

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#AllyTurns22

Oh hi lovely people! Funny as it seems, it’s actually friday the 13th today, it’s payday and yeah, it’s my birthday, as well. And so, I’m not that sure if we can go somewhere to eat. We’re actually planning to paint the town red at Sambo Kojin but then, I bet there are lots of people in there. So I think we’re gonna buy food outside and celebrate for the meantime at home. And Sambo Kojin would most probably be on the 15th after church. And as for my officemates, well.. perhaps, I will buy a giant pizza for everyone to be zany of and treat my closest friend/s somewhere.

Anyhow, as I grow a year older today, I came to a steadfast decision to abide with an action plan towards self betterment. Here’s some of it:

Now that I’m 22, I will.. focus and divert my attention things and people that will help and motivate me to put my best foot forward in everything I will do.

Now that I’m 22, I will.. love myself more and no matter how hard it may be, I will move forward and let go of those people who didn’t even hesitate to leave me behind.

Now that I’m 22, I will.. make sure to be adnascent and not complascent with what I have right now and vouch for more blessings and miracles to take place in my life as I go further.

On the contrary..

Now that I’m 22, I will not.. let myself be stuck on things that won’t contribute on self growth and people who don’t intend to stay long and came just to filter negativity on my heart.

Now that I’m 22, I will not.. allow fear take over me in times of despair but trust that God will never leave me whatever happens.

Now that I’m 22, I will not.. waste my time forcing myself for people to value me as much as I value them. If you don’t want me in your life, and so be it. I will never be that girl who will force you to stay over and over again and beg for your attention like a lame dog.

Having said these, I really hope and pray this year will be a year of continuous learning, growth and blessings will overflow as I turn a year older and the fact that I’m not a teenager anymore, for real. Yeah right. 🙂

Roll Deep

Annyeong! It’s been a long time since I was able to post here and my deep apologies for that. I’ve been busy this past few weeks and thank God that after all the effort that I convened to find a job was not wasted. I’m still in the same industry but this time, the account that I’m in this time is related to my course which is in sales. I may not have actual experience with sales yet since this is just the second company that I’m able to work with.

And of course, after all what happened to the previous one before, I made a vow to myself that I would put my best game this time. I would do everything for me to excel and be able to stay/last long with this company. Not so I can brag that I’m employed and whatnot. But for me to be able to prove myself that I can do better and I’m not a failure. No one is. It’s all in your hands if you will let yourself stay with just the same picture or go after your dreams and never stop aiming for continous growth. In order for me to do that, I came up with a game plan I have to firmly comply with.

1. Learn from your mistakes and don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. (For crying out loud!)

I actually mentioned this before on my preceding posts and to be honest, I wasn’t able to abide in it myself. Easier said than done, eh? But in able for you to move forward, you have to stop clinging on people and things that you wholeheartedly value but takes you for granted all the time, right? It’s not loyalty, it’s called breaking your own heart. Sorry if I sounded like I’m talking about something else. But you must eliminate everything that hinders you from growing. Focus more on the people who helps you go on the next step of the sucess ladder and stop wasting your time on those people who just kept on pulling you down, taking away the confidence you have in you.

2.Stay strong and never ever stop aiming higher, everytime.
Being able to win the euchre in life and overcome whatever challenges life throws at you, you must stay persistent in going after your dreams being fulfilled with a flambeau held high in your hand. Guzzle whatever new learnings that you are to acquire as you go on with your journey through life. Hard times may come when you least expect it and yes, we may find it unyieldingly hard to overcome at times. But always keep in mind your very reason as to why you hanker for self-betterment and trust that God will always be there to pick us up and direct us to the path where He know that will help us to pursue our dreams.

3. Nothing’s permanent but go for something that will last long.
When I started looking for a job upon finishing college, my mindset used to hanker for just having a job and not to waste time being unemployed. But one thing I learned with what happened to my previous job, I realized that I have to precipitate and do something for me to find not just a job, but a career. There’s a hefty difference between the two. Having a job would only give you the title of being employed and being able to buy whatever you want. Having a career would not only give you the potent to buy everything you want and the honor of being employed but it will also yield conspicious success and unsurpassed growth.

** As of the moment, I’m planning to boycott Lookbook next year. I will just post the looks I posted here on the blog before but haven’t able to post at Lookbook next month.

Show Me Your Ways

Annyeong! It’s like a couple of weeks since I updated this blog of mine and I really did notice that I’m starting to be like less active on all my accounts in SNS compared to how I usually do before back when I was a student like some of you are. I also realized recently that it seems like I don’t have the time to go out & chill anymore as much as I did before I started working. It’s been a see-saw-in-the-playground for me. I miss my carefree schedule before when I have all the time in the world to go to whatever place I wish to go to and eat wherever my tummy tells me to go zany with. But then, on the contrary, I also love the fulfillment I get every payday and I get to earn money by myself and being able to buy things that I want with my own money and treat my family is like eating a whole ice cream cake or Mr. Pizza’s Eggta all by myself. (Now, I’m hungry! Oh no!).

Suffice to say, whenever I get to go out during my rest days is like a trip to South Korea for me. (Well, almost.. can someone fulfill my Kpop fangirl dream now? Aigoo!~ *aegyo voice on*) Seriously speaking, I’ve been planning to go on an ultimate cheat day, splurging on eating on our guilty pleasure with my brother. And go on a museum visit and invade an unli shabu shabu on one day, as well. Which we are by the the end of this week. *twinkling eyes*

As for the look I pulled off on this particular look, I opt for a balance plate of my Kpop antics, and fixation for dark colors without being too androgynous. Which is why Hello Kitty decided to drop by. It’s always been a fact for me clinging into edgy staples and pieces which sheds light into my Kpop fangirl side. But then, I always make it a point to dab my finger on the feminine side of me from time to time to balance everything.

Hello Kitty tee, Skirt, Stockings & Shoes all from H&M

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Bright

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Annyeong! How are you all doing? I really made sure that I get to post this week since I already started working and it’s only during the weekends that I would get to rest, chill and etc. But then, of course, if you love something (or someone.. err.. *covers face*), you would really make time for it no matter how busy you can be, right? Otherwise, it’s an indication that it’s either, it’s not your priority or you just don’t love it that much. How double meaning can that get? Uh, whatever!

Speaking of priorities, I know I’ve already avowed in one of my previous posts as to what are my goals and plans of partaking in the future. But then, as I convened my thoughts these past few days, I decipher what I really want to pursue in life. Although, truth be told, it’s not just one, not just two, but three! Fashion which is immensely obvious where my heart is. It’s either I would take various short courses at Fashion Institute of the Philippines in Ortigas, take Fashion Design & Merchandising at De La Salle – College of Saint Benilde which is I think is a 4-year course or take a 1 year or 4 year Fashion Design & Marketing course at School of Fashion & The Arts (Although it’s far from our house) which I’m planning to take next year, perhaps. Whatever my final choice of course & school I may be.

Another is Dance which I started being fixated with since I was a kid. Although I want to take a preliminary workshop first before taking a formal course if ever I’ll push it through. Why? I stopped dancing for about 4 or 5 years already due to my asthma which I was healed from for a long time. I guess I just didn’t push myself too much to it these days. And I would not deny that among the three, dance is my least priority of pursuing. I don’t know why. Maybe I would pursue it if I still can after 4 or 5 years?

Last but my number one priority of them all, Law. I never been on the top of the class in my elementary and high school days. I was the happy-go-lucky-rebellious-type back then. Not until, to my surprise, when we started having law subjects back in my last two years in college, I was blessed to be in the top 1-3 consistently. I must say that I didn’t strive hard just because of the joy of being recognized as one of the top law students in class but it’s predominantly because law has captured my heart and I felt pure bliss in studying it. Having said that, it was a firm decision of mine to pursue law after 2 or 3 years at either UP, San Beda or UST.

Above all these, I want to go after my own dreams with my own money. My parents can pay for my tuition etc, yes. But I think it’s far more fulfilling if you get to go after your life goals and dreams with your hard-earned money, right? It’s like you prove those people who don’t believe in you wrong. As for my case, I can prove those bullies (with many ‘S’, BULLIESSSS!) who made me think twice (even thrice and so) to believe in myself that I may be some kind of dirt to them before but I can smile to them from ear to ear in the near future and prove them wrong of wasting their precious time on belittling me.

As to my look for today, I took the risk of wearing a floral maxi dress which I don’t usually wear yet in a normal setting. But since I’m currently working now and I’m no longer a student, I decided to pull off a bit mature look than what I usually do. Of course, with my fixation on florals saying hello.. again.

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Leather jacket from Next | Boots from SAX | Bowler hat from H&M

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Brave

Howdy people! It’s been only like a week since I posted but it feels like my recent post was like a couple of weeks or so already. Why? Well, let’s put it this way. God has been good to me this past week that had past. Why again? I’ve got multiple job offers but scrapped it over a recent one which is accessible and near our house. What is ironic in it was out of all the job applications/interviews and job fairs I’ve had/been, truth be told, I seem to avoid BPO companies (also with agencies, insurance companies and such) all the time since if ever, I would be working usually in the night time which would be predominantly contrary to my usual sleeping routine wherein I usually sleep at around 11pm or so then wake up at 6:30am for our morning walk in our subdivision. Which would make me (pretty much!) a night owl right?

It started when I attended the job fair at SM Megamall earlier part of a couple of weeks ago which I think is like Wednesday. Since it was organized by WorkAbroad.ph, most of the booths caters to aspiring applicants who’s looking for a job abroad. With that, I only applied to 5 or 6 booths and decided to leave the venue upon having my last round of beating the bushes and checking every booth not until a girl from a certain BPO company approached and asked me if I’m interested and said if I don’t want to be in the night shift, they also offer day shift and so I tried. When we had our group initial interview, I passed which landed to me, passing the rest of the recruitment process later on (Although it’s on the night shift since it turned out, day shift agents are for the experienced ones, after all). But then, I was assigned at the Ortigas branch of the said BPO company. And so, I tried to apply with another company and passed again. This time, I got assigned at Shaw Boulevard site which is a bit far more than the previous one.

Furthermore, my mom told me to try applying for another company with the same industry which is much accessible and near our place since it’s dangerous and pretty much risky going home late at night after work, especially for a girl like me. Finally, I found one around Quezon City (Eton Centris) and got hired just recently. With that, my life would officially change with regards to my transition from student into a working one next week. With that, I realized that I have to continue not chasing and running after people who don’t value me as much as I value them anymore. I know I’ told myself to do so many times before but I’m a grown up now and I convened with the fact that people who don’t/can’t even make time for you despite their busy schedule just like I do with them don’t deserve your time, effort and love.

If you really want me to be in your life, go out of your way and prove it to me. If you don’t, why would I force you to stay? I’ve had enough of people who’s just good with feeding you with sweet words. If you have to force yourself to be in the lives of people you hold dear so much but they end up ignoring you, why would you fight for that person? This applies to my relationships in general, by the way. With my 21 years of existence, I’ve encountered this many times before. So, as I enter the business world, I want to leave everything that belongs to the past and those people who just kept on making me doubt on myself behind which hinders me from loving myself and growing, as well. You can’t just come and go in my life whenever you want and just talk to me when you’re just bored and got nothing to do. No one deserves to be just anyone’s past time, second option or worst, back up plan. Sometimes, even if it hurts, you have to be brave enough to move forward with or without the people you value the most but don’t value you as much. Even those who promised that you’ll always have each other when everything else is gone but ended up leaving you in the pedestal.

With regards to my look post for today, I opted for monochromatic pieces and paired it with my favorite denim jacket. Summer ended last month so cover-ups would be like no biggie these days. And with marsala being Pantone’s color of the year, I went for marsala-colored socks which added to that laidback feel of my outfit. I hope you guys like it!

Soon on Lookbook.nu!

Change Your Ticket

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Hello there! I will admit, truth be told, I intended to post this a bit earlier than today. But well, let’s say I’m still coping up with the changes that’s taking place in my life right now. It really fascinates me how things can change so fast in a very short period of time. I’m pretty sure most of you will understand me when I say some people don’t really ascertain yet how vital it is to really be picky as to whom they will meddle themselves with. (Which to be candid, I realized how important it is, just recently) I’m not saying you have to be that super untouchable one who just involve themselves with the people that have the same social status as they are and such. What I’m saying is that there’s nothing permanent in this world. Change is inevitable.

So you have to know who you really can depend on. Who’s worth it and who’s not. And you don’t have to be in a relationship just because most of the people around you are in it. It’s not like fashion that some people feel like they have to compromise with it. Although in my opinion, in fashion, it’s not like if it’s on trend, you are obliged to comply with it. What if it doesn’t fit you? After all, you are what you wear.

Same thing goes with relationships, my friends. It’s not like when you have those butterflies in your tummy doesn’t mean he/she is meant for you. Most of the time, you have to consider much more important things than kilig. When things get much deeper, the much significant question there is, is he/she someone you really deserve? Why would you waste time on someone you’re not certain of or on someone you can’t imagine yourself with in the future, right?

Just like what I’ve read in a couple of articles that I’ve read lately about not settling for someone/something less than great. And with someone you don’t deserve. If someone doesn’t treat us how we deserve, we shouldn’t accept their behavior just because it’s what we think we deserve. WE DON’T HAVE TO SETTLE. After all, why would we settle for loneliness? Because it’s a state of mind and it’s not some void to be filled up by someone else. Nobody has the right to infect us with negativity and doubt. There will come a point in life when we’ll get tired of having to prove ourselves and we’ll get sick of fixing things.

It’s not giving up or quitting; it’s realizing we deserve more. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with putting ourselves first, for once. The sooner we do that, the better. People will become strangers and distant memories. But we don’t have to feel guilty of removing toxic people from our lives. Not everyone you lose is a loss.

Proceeding with this particular look, this is what I wore when we went to Mount Cabuyao, popularly known as Sitio La Presa in the recently concluded famous teleserye, Forevermore. It was insanely foggy and cold there than the rest of Baguio and thus, I opted to wear winter-like structured clothes rather than with the thinner ones. Truth be told, I still feel the chills despite of wearing these clothes. And I still remained with my lazy dressing-kpop preference way of clothing on the pieces I wore.

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