Fear Not

Oh hi! Some of you might be surprised as to why it seems like I’ve been active with my SNS lately. Well, let’s say something went wrong with my work and with that, I’ve been applying to various companies this week. Suffice to say, I feel like I’m in a roller-coaster of mixed emotions as of the moment. I’m trying to keep myself composed and positive as much as possible. Pulling off my best actress mask as much as I can. Although truth be told, it’s draining and tiring like zany. 😦 But what I always do is trust on God’s will and plan for my life.

Because I was so weak and frail back in the days when I was a rebel who just do whatever she felt like doing. And I’m pretty sure if I stayed that way today, I bet I already commited suicide. Growing up, with everything that I’ve been through in life, I can say that I changed in a way I don’t expect myself to be. With God as my refuge and secure fortress, together with what I learned from the hefty amount of pain, failures and rejection I’ve encountered in the past, I can say that I’m absolutely not the same as what I am before. I may not say that I’ve able to overcome my insecurities that the past has caused me but I can say, I’m stronger and wiser now. Not letting life’s big rocks stoop me down just like that.

I believe and proclaim that God would make a way for me to be hired with the best company and job wherein I would build a long-term career and would help me grow as a person. And later on, be able to pursue and fulfill my dreams and goals in life. For this look, it was taken at the National Museum a couple of weeks ago when I had a date with my brother-photographer. Wanting to channel that girl who finds comfort in art and being that girl of mysteries look, here’s what I wore:

Skirt & Shoes from H&M | Leggings from Claire’s

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Sober

Annyeong haseyo~ Chal ji ni? *eyes blinking cutely* (Hello! How are you?) Why in the world am I greeting you guys in formal Korean greeting then suddenly put on aegyo right after? Well, to be honest, I’m being the best actress I usually do whenever I opt to hide what I really feel on the inside. And I never thought some people are actually deceived by it. Truth be told, if I were to ask how am I doing and what do I feel about myself, I’ll candidly tell you that I’m definitely not fine at all and I totally don’t feel good about myself.

I’m under excessive pressure since last week due to the final straw of the training I’m currently on at the office where I’m working. We have to hit 8.8 by the end of last week and I’m like the weakest link among our group. I tried calming myself down but I kept on feeling worst than ever about myself as most of them already on the 8.8 goal, some even exceeded it already and I can’t keep up. I was even told that I look relaxed when in fact, I kept on stuttering and even palpitating so many times each day. I went back to my zany fixation for milk tea just to lessen the hefty amount of stress and distress I’m being in but I guess, it’s still not enough to compensate everything. Of course, no one wants to be imprisoned with the I’m-trying-my-best-everytime-but-still-I’m-not-good-enough feeling, right? Especially, myself who already encountered too much rejection and turndowns in life in the past. Bullying, been taken for granted by the people I love, getting misjudged.. name it.

So pardon my melancholic feels with this particular look today. I guess you really cannot conceal everything all the time. Today’s color palette shows the fine line between not feeling good about myself and being able to move forward despite the fact that it’s either they will send me back to training or I should say hello to job hunting shenanigans at this early time. So help me, God!

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Baguio | Day 1

As promised, I’m gonna dole out the lowdown of the highlights of our Baguio 3-day vacation last week. What I will do is convene the events per day. So this blog post would convey our first day in Baguio.

On our way there, waking up super early, I really thought I would be sticking my nose on my pillow and sleep. But then, with Paula on my side, I only managed to nap almost an hour and what I did on the whole trip was these:

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As we plan as to what place are we staying, my mom said that her former peer in Qatar Airways owns a vacation house at Baguio but since she won’t be able to come with us, we decided to stay at /Baguio Holiday Villa./ My cousins by the way (Paula and Renz), Tito Rene, Tita Grace, my aunt (Tita Lulu) who we usually go out with and my brother are my companions on this particular trip.

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Take It Slow

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Hi there! As what I avowed in my Facebook account, few days ago, we had a 3-day-vacay at Baguio City, Benguet. And absolutely, we had fun in the most spectacular way (well, almost!). Stay tuned for my blog post on what went down in our three giddy day vacay in Baguio.

As we grow up, we let ourselves engross and interact with diverse kinds of people. Some stay, some came just to pass by and let us learn life lessons that we haven’t fathom yet. Most of them come and sadly, leave us for no apparent reason. Maybe God let those people leave for us to open our doors with better ones who will intend to stay with us for long.

With that, we have to be prudent and wise as to who will we let ourselves to. Back when I was a kid, I used to be over generous and too friendly with my friends to the point of them, taking advantage of me. Back then, I was too naive to realize such mistake. And so as I grow up, I still continue doing the said attitude in all of my relationships with everyone I value. And that perhaps, led me to meeting people who thinks only of their own welfare even if it means hurting other people.

Furthermore, we should choose discerningly who will we invest our time and effort with. And when you know for a fact that you’re with a person who will not radiate the best in you, you gotta stop it right away. Otherwise, you’re just giving that person the chance to take you for granted.

As for this look, since we seldom stay in an all day keen place, I grabbed the opportunity to wear pieces which I cannot wear in the usual disposition I am in the Philippines. Here it is!

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Grand Piano

Annyeong lovely people! How’r you all doing? As for me, thesis days is starting to creep in and the implementation/practicum for our feasibility study will be two weeks from now. So I’m starting to get pretty busy.
In the past few weeks, as my random thoughts get to me, it just struck me how some people finds delight in hurting others and watching others suffer. I’m like, why? Don’t you have a decent life to live? For you to actually take time to hurt others? Whatever your reasons and intentions are, I tell you, stop it.
There are lots and lots of productive things we can revel outselling into without causing others to suffer. What good thing will you gain from that? Absolutely none, my dear! Maybe some of you might be puzzled as to why am I doling out this sort of things.
Well, I’m still in the process of moving on. I know it’s been a couple of years (almost!) since I first told myself to let go of the wrong people. But this year, I’m more than 100% serious about this matter. Especially that the guy I’ve been talking about in my previous posts is proving me so right on everything that my friends been telling me that I should stop chasing the wrong people and just eat my feelings. (Just kidding w/ the latter!) What I really meant was to let go and move on for real.

As for this look, perf for the sweater weather although I bet all of you will agree when I say the weather is indeed bipolar, eh? And so are the people around us. They come and go. Hahaha! And uhm, it’s February and.. never mind. I know all the pieces of this particular look is completely far from this month’s fuss but ugh, whatever!

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Such A Minnie (Meanie)

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Annyeong lovelies! Well, truth be told, I’m finding it hard to trim down my excessive eating & pigging out everywhere nowadays. Aside from the unexpected post birthday celebration-like buffet dinner with my two cousins, aunt & uncle from the US, along with Dad & bro, I’m sure none of you will make a dispute whne I say October, November & December are the best months of the year, yes? Celebrations, family gatherings & excessive shopping and pigging out here and there. So it’s pretty much the season wherein all of us are in high spirits, carefree & pretty much brisky about the holidays’ yingyangs. So it’s the season which people finds it hard to cut out that extra weight we acquire from pigging out too much, as well. Don’t we?

Personally, to be blunt, I’m currently struggling controlling myself from eating too much due to consecutive celebrations and going out. Not to mention, there are lots of November celebrants in our family. Then followed by next month’s feasts. Anyway, I think it’s obvious as to whom is my favorite disney character is, right? Minnie Mouse! Well, aside from the fact that the said cutie patootie character’s show is one of my favorite shows to watch back in my childhood days, along with other Playhouse Disney shows, Nickeledeon & Cartoon Network shows, perhaps, some of you might notice the fact that I have a huge fixation for ribbons, yes? Well, that’s why I love Minnie so much then!

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Black velvet bow from Forever 21, Denim Pullover from Topshop

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Ain’t Been Done

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So how’s your semester break going? As for me, well, to be blunt, I find all what’s happening these days overwhelming and uhmm.. AHH! Can’t seem to translate it into words. For the record, I unintentionally opened up to my mom & aunt about my unipolar/clinical depression which was utterly unplanned. It just came out natural. Well, I guess the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks indeed.
Just recently, the friend who I mentioned in my prior post/s that been my crying shoulder for quite sometime then suddenly left me alone without any valid reason or any single explanation just sent me message which brought me to tears – again. Saying she had life issues in the past that she chose not to share to anyone. And it just hit me, why do I easily trust people just as they find it hard to trust me? Though I respect other people’s decisions but there are just people who you just feel like it’s utterly too much for you to trust them again the way you did before. It’s like there’s this miniature wall built that’s stopping you to trust them again.

As what they say, if you love something/someone, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be. Ensuing with this look, well, as the weather here in MNL seems bipolar, so is me!

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Black Bowler hat from H&M | Shoes from SM GTW

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Princess Power ♡

Oh well! I’m sure all of us have those hazy days where we just couldn’t seem to find some things to do no matter how much we force it. Vaguely, me and my bro planned of having at least 2 or 3 photoshoots in a day. And here’s one of it. And here’s a fact, the grey sweater I wore in this look was an item I just bought the same day. So much for being too overwrought in wearing le sweater! 🙂

In conjunction with that, this is also my first look in the longest time to incorporate a bag in my look. Moreover, without a further ado, here’s my look with Lookbook.nu’s Wioletta touch:

 

Sweater from Hanes, Shorts from Bershka

Hand bag from Nine West, Shades from Ray Ban

Tights from Q Queen, Shoes from Doc Martens

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