Oh hello! Many things happened in the past month and thank God I got regularized from my recent work. Although I’m still in the midst of improvement and I still commit mistakes a million times. Which opened my eyes to the realization that you really can’t fathom if the friend/s you’re with is real or not not until you see how they treat you in times of failure and despair. If they still treat you the same way they do when need something from you, then you’re blessed to have them in your life because they’re real.
Suffice to say that it’s hard for me to pinpoint as to who I consider as my bestfriend nowadays. Had some whom I’ve been very close for quite sometime but ended up as either just one of my acquaintances or worst, some even grew distant due to some irrelevant reason of theirs. Have people who I became friends from the start (or so I thought, sadly..) but next thing I know, they tend to be absurdly bipolar being too kind to me at times then will turn to my number one hater in just a snap.
Sometimes I just don’t know who to trust. That’s why I tend to create a wall between me and some people (to my crush, even, would you believe??!). It’s like I’m too afraid to open myself to them due to the fear of getting attached to them too much and might end up getting hurt and left alone again. I guess you really can’t force yourself to be part of someone’s life if they intentionally not let you be part of it.