3 Ways: Love in The Dark

Annyeong! Sorry for being inactive for a week or so. Been to diverse events since my favorite cousins is in town so I got preoccupied by their much awaited summer vacay. And so my tummy! My cheeks looks like a pair of burger buns right now, for crying out loud!

Aside from this, I’ve been to a rollercoaster of negativity with the couple of weeks of hiatus I’ve been to. Had a complicated issue with my wavemate in expense of defending a friend late last month and the feeling of not having the freedom and happiness that people of my age deserves to have due to having over-strict parents went up last week until now.

And it’s hitting me so deep. The fact that the only person you really can depend on is yourself. Which is immensely hard for me to take in. Someone who went through a lot of rejection in diverse sorts all throughout the years. Someone who’s been yearning for one thing all this time. To be loved as much as the love that she gives to everyone who she loves. To get the love that she deserves.

And I must admit it’s hard to push yourself to do best in everything when you feel like no one bothers to understand and be at your side at times like these. Because they don’t know and fathom how painful and heavy everything that you’ve been through/going through. And it’s agitating and heart wrenching to take in the fact that you don’t know what to do anymore but to pretend that everything’s okay and you always have to try hard to hold back those tears not to pour all over your face and force a smile – well, a fake one, all the time.

So help me, God. – Matthew 21:22*

To keep myself sane, I went through my closet and declare a rade on what pieces I can incorporate with my black knit see through top with faux leather short sleeves. And I opt to dole out short description on each conveying diverse sides of me in real life.

Chill Pill

When I’m on those days in which I’m not in the mood to dress up, I go for casual, toned down and laid back look. Comfort over style, well.. sometimes.

Plunge on Grunge

I’ve always or let’s say for so many years, I fell over heels with color black. Whether I’m in the mood to dress up or not. Especially nowadays. I’m not fond of wearing too much neon colors. Like when I’m wearing one piece of striking color, I keep the rest of the pieces muted.

The Kpop fangirl
Been a cray cray fangirl since early 2010. I can say that the my kpop fangirl side took over and has influenced my style on about 60-80% or more. But of course, I still keep up with the cons of thr tropical and excessively hot country I’m in.

Canvas

A month from now marks the first anniversary since I graduated from college. From then on, I can say that many things has changed. Some people turned out to be a waste of time, some things shed light upon the goals I have to focus myself on in order for me to be the place where I want to be in and be someone I’m aspiring myself to be.

After I got hired from two companies I didn’t get to stay for long, upon getting endorsed to operations recently, (Finally, thank you Lord!!) I convened to a realization to a firm goal.

Since this is a huge blessing for me, I have to everything I can for me to make the most out of this. I have to make sure that this time, I would be stable and further hone my capabilities. Not just be satisfied with what I am right now and always aim higher than what I already attained. There’s nothing you can’t acquire when you go for it, against all odds.


 

All I Ask

Had earnest second thoughts of posting something like this. But I guess it’s insanely hard to keep it all to yourself. To set your expectations, this post contains my straightforward feelings so I want to say sorry in advance to y’all coz I may sound dramatic to those who cannot relate to this.

Upon graduating college last year, I had that burning desire and perseverance to find a job right away. It’s like I can’t handle seeing myself wasting time not to do anything for me to grow and flourish in a way that I’ll be a step closer to be someone I want myself to be. Having said that, I’ve been to heaps of online job applications, interviews, job fairs and whatnot. Couple of months of blood, sweat and tears after, I was able to land a job which I failed to pass the training as well as with the succeeding company I’ve been to. I must say that it’s been a very rough road for me since then. Instead of giving up and letting myself be a failure all the way, losing my job twice in just one year, I chose to trust on God’s love for me since for the record, He’s the ONLY ONE who never left my side no matter what happens.

Felt relieved and grateful when finally, I get to pass the training on the recent company I’m in right now. But sadly, I felt like no single person is happy for me. Or rather, they don’t bother asking how I was doing. My parents in specific. The people whom supposed to be insanely concerned and looking after my welfare. But since it always been like that and I felt like I can’t do anything about it, I left without a choice but to just disregard as it would open up too much negativity and insecurities.

What made all these burst out my chest is when my dad with all insensitivity told me that I’m too selfish blah blah. Even avowed it’s better for me not to have a job so I would get to stay at home all day. Not knowing how hard it is for me not to give up despite everything I went through.

All my life, I’ve been locked out with excessive restrictions. You can’t do this, you can’t do that. Now that I’m 22 and I’m working, don’t I have the right to have fun even just a bit? My mom even said if you want, you can go ahead and rent a condo. Which leads me to a decision to save money for it and gather all the courage to live independently. Imagine, hearing something like: “Will you stop crying? I’ll punch you!” straight from your dad??? Suffice to say that from this day on, I will do whatever it takes to be a better version of myself which will help me to get ready for the day that I’ll get to rent a condo and live my life the way a normal person of my age should be. Without those harsh restrictions despite my age and those remarks that makes me feel so little and incapable of attaining success someday.

Stone Cold

Hello there! Okay, since I’ve been inactive for like three weeks, I’m trying to make it up to you guys. Aside from being insanely busy these days, I often find myself uninspired and weary. Suffice to say that I can’t fathom how to convene my thoughts that I want to dole out.

Especially that the so-called Valentine’s Day that most people fuss about this month had past and as always, I’m… uhh… oh yes. No time for playing games here. I’ve always been alone. I don’t mean to shed light in the past (that I never want to go back ever) and I’m not rushing things, either.

It’s just that after all those conundrum that I went through, I believe that I don’t deserve to be in this kind of situation anymore – feeling so little and whatnot. I’ve been too harsh rejection and been taken for granted too many times.

That’s why even if to be honest, I already began liking someone again nowadays, (I bet every girl’s heart would swoon on his stellar voice & stunning smile.. uhm.. yeah?) I admit that it doesn’t feel good most of the time. You know that feeling of being scared to get hurt and be left alone again? It sucks.

So it left me with a intent reminder to myself that after all I’ve been through, now that I’m 22, I should use my brain and stick to what’s right and what I truly deserve rather than clinging to what my heart wants but will set forth pain and harm to me afterwards. So I bow to wait for Mr. Right (please come quickly!!) and never settle for anything less than I deserve. It’s time to grow up, girl! Maturity, take over me!

b

bb

bbbbbbb

bbbbbbbb

bbb

bbbb

bbbbb

bbbbbb

Breathe In, Breathe Out

br

Annyeong! Yes, I know I’ve been inactive for the past few weeks. It’s like whenever I reached home at around 6pm from work and well, roaming around somewhere, I always feel my eyes is set up on auto blink every 5 seconds around 7:30pm. Oops!

But well, I’m not complaining. But yes, I’m guilty… never mind. It’s the second month of 2016 that most people consider as the friggin love month which I never get to devour and be zany of since then.

As I tried to convene and shed light of what happened on the past year, (which I admit is definitely not a joke and one hell of a conundrum for me) I promised myself things that’s obviously not that easy for me to comply with but it’s for my own sake. Or should I say, for my heart’s sake.

I’ve been with diverse sorts of rejection and that feeling of being taken advantage for too many times. In lieu of the cliche, “Don’t repeat the same mistake.” which I have to strongly follow, I promised myself that I would never pour too much on someone who haven’t prove its worth to me. I would never ever dare doing the first step on a guy I like ever again. If it’s meant to be, it will find its way.

It’s not bitter, it’s knowing what you truly deserve and clinging to what’s better and not just grabbing what’s in front of you without making use of your friggin brain. It’s about time I think of myself first before someone else’s sake. I tend to cross the bridge for someone who won’t even lift a finger just to give smile on my face.

It’s not that I’m being selfish but it’s just that I already became too selfless on people who don’t even deserve it multiple times.

2

3

5

6

7

8

9

Happiest

Oh hi lovely people! Massive shoutout to my fellow DG fangirls & fanboys out there. I know this might sound or look mababaw to some of you. But I’m sure solid fangirls and fanboys of David Guison would understand how hard it is to keep your chill when you unexpectedly David in person!

I’ve been a solid fan of him since I started blogging on late 2012. Believe it or not, but I’m more zany for Dave than my blogger brother. Yes, DG may be notable on the fashion industry and is inclined with menswear at its finest form you can ever see it but I don’t know – I, myself, can’t expound why I’m this crazy about David.

I would never forget the day when my brother was picked as one of the lucky bunch who’ll be dressed by DG at Market Market for Collezione C2. I even blogged about what happened that day.

** Pardon my old watermark is showing off in the picture above since I got it from my particular post last July 2013 **

And back in 2014, he already have his blog’s own mobile app! And he also been nominated for various awards and won numerous of it. What I love about DG is even how far he has become now, he still sustained his humility and perpetuated to keep his feet on the ground. So here’s some of David’s stellar pictures throughout the years. Look how cute he is!πŸ˜›

Here’s to more years of fangirling and endlessly supporting DG! I may not able to go with my fellow followers, bonding with David on some of the events of his life and I may not be Vina G (*winks*) but one thing’s for sure. I’m one of the most solid fangirl of DG that will stay by his side as long as I live. Cheesy!

That’s why even if I’m in my most haggard state yesterday after working hours,(even if I’m not prepared, my eyebrows is not even on fleek, for crying out loud!) Β I gathered all the courage in the world and still followed him from 1st floor up to the other side of 2nd floor. And not to mention that I felt like he’s in a hurry that time since he’s walking so fast like cray cray. Hahaha! I really didn’t expect that I would get to see David that time in view of the fact that he’s in Glorietta at 2pm yesterday. I’m really the happiest yesterday, indeed!

Looking forward for the next one! (very soon, hopefully!)

 

Backtrack

comeback

I get the feeling that some people think that being fashionable is some kind of gene mutuation – and it’s either you have it or you don’t, as if the talent for pairing flared trousers with platform heels and a peasant style, pussy-bow blouse is inborn. I perceive fashion from a different point of view, I seized upon a fitting metaphor: fashion is a language.

If so, then that means people will speak it with different degrees of fluency. Some of us are fluent than others that’s why they don’t just follow trends, they make ’em. Some of us do follow trends but make sure to rock it in a way that others can’t. So if you’ve always wanted to play fashion, you should fathom that it’s something that can be learned, something you can excel at if you put in the requisite time and effort.

With that, as 2016 approaches, I decided to post all those looks I didn’t have the ample time to convene in the blog last year. Pardon, the working girl, eh? And I must say, I used my black skater skirt and knee high socks way too much last year. Well of course, take note of the black hair I used to have before! The marks of backlogs? Oops, my bad!πŸ˜›

24

23

21

20

19

18

17

11

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

I think I still have few backlogs left on the pc so I guess I’ll just follow those up in between blog posts, yes?

Spoilers, anyone? For one of the two look posts that I will post next week is actually a backlog, as well. It’s back in the days when I haven’t put red streaks on my hair. (although it’s not much of a striking one, but I’m planning to soon!) Stay tuned, lovelies!

Welcome Back

Hello there! Annyeong, 2016! Feeling so ecstatic to be back after being on a unplanned hiatus since the second half of November last year. That’s why I opt to renovate the blog and made sure I get to go back when 2016 waves hello. Although I must say the blog is not yet fully innovated. THE WORD!

Anyway, to catch up upon disappearing after I had my birthday last November which as what I avowed on my preceding post that we will eat at Sambo Kojin which we did two days after my actual birthday. Here’s some of the grubs I devoured:

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

Overall, the ones that stood out was their carbonara, chasu ramen, menchi katsu, the ones we grilled and such. We would definitely go back, for sure!

#AllyTurns22

Oh hi lovely people! Funny as it seems, it’s actually friday the 13th today, it’s payday and yeah, it’s my birthday, as well. And so, I’m not that sure if we can go somewhere to eat. We’re actually planning to paint the town red at Sambo Kojin but then, I bet there are lots of people in there. So I think we’re gonna buy food outside and celebrate for the meantime at home. And Sambo Kojin would most probably be on the 15th after church. And as for my officemates, well.. perhaps,Β I will buy a giant pizza for everyone to be zany of and treat my closest friend/s somewhere.

Anyhow, as I grow a year older today, I came to a steadfast decision to abide with an action plan towards self betterment. Here’s some of it:

Now that I’m 22, I will.. focus and divert my attention things and people that will help and motivate me to put my best foot forward in everything I will do.

Now that I’m 22, I will.. love myself more and no matter how hard it may be, I will move forward and let go of those people who didn’t even hesitate to leave me behind.

Now that I’m 22, I will.. make sure to be adnascent and not complascent with what I have right now and vouch for more blessings and miracles to take place in my life as I go further.

On the contrary..

Now that I’m 22, I will not.. let myself be stuck on things that won’t contribute on self growth and people who don’t intend to stay longΒ and came just to filter negativity on my heart.

Now that I’m 22, I will not.. allow fear take over me in times of despair but trust that God will never leave me whatever happens.

Now that I’m 22, I will not.. waste my time forcing myself for people to value me as much as I value them. If you don’t want me in your life, and so be it. I will never be that girl who will force you to stay over and over again and beg for your attention like a lame dog.

Having said these, I really hope and pray this year will be a year ofΒ continuousΒ learning, growth and blessings will overflow asΒ I turn a year older and the fact that I’m not a teenager anymore, for real. Yeah right.:)

Roll Deep

Annyeong! It’s been a long time since I was able to post here and my deep apologies for that. I’ve been busy this past few weeks and thank God that after all the effort that I convened to find a job was not wasted. I’m still in the same industry but this time, the account that I’m in this time is related to my course which is in sales. I may not have actual experience with sales yet since this is just the second company that I’m able to work with.

And of course, after all what happened to the previous one before, I made a vow to myself that I would put my best game this time. I would do everything for me to excel and be able to stay/last long with this company. Not so I can brag that I’m employed and whatnot. But for me to be able to prove myself that I can do better and I’m not a failure. No one is. It’s all in your hands if you will let yourself stay with just the same picture or go after your dreams and never stop aiming for continous growth. In order for me to do that, I came up with a game plan I have to firmly comply with.

1. Learn from your mistakes and don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. (For crying out loud!)

I actually mentioned this before on my preceding posts and to be honest, I wasn’t able to abide in it myself. Easier said than done, eh? But in able for you to move forward, you have to stop clinging on people and things that you wholeheartedly value but takes you for granted all the time, right? It’s not loyalty, it’s called breaking your own heart. Sorry if I sounded like I’m talking about something else. But you must eliminate everything that hinders you from growing. Focus more on the people who helps you go on the next step of the sucess ladder and stop wasting your time on those people who just kept on pulling you down, taking away the confidence you have in you.

2.Stay strong and never ever stop aiming higher, everytime.
Being able to win the euchre in life and overcome whatever challenges life throws at you, you must stay persistent in going after your dreams being fulfilled with a flambeau held high in your hand. Guzzle whatever new learnings that you are to acquire as you go on with your journey through life. Hard times may come when you least expect it and yes, we may find it unyieldingly hard to overcome at times. But always keep in mind your very reason as to why you hanker for self-betterment and trust that God will always be there to pick us up and direct us to the path where He know that will help us to pursue our dreams.

3. Nothing’s permanent but go for something that will last long.
When I started looking for a job upon finishing college, my mindset used to hanker for just having a job and not to waste time being unemployed. But one thing I learned with what happened to my previous job, I realized that I have to precipitate and do something for me to find not just a job, but a career. There’s a hefty difference between the two. Having a job would only give you the title of being employed and being able to buy whatever you want. Having a career would not only give you the potent to buy everything you want and the honor of being employed but it will also yield conspicious success and unsurpassed growth.

** As of the moment, I’m planning to boycott Lookbook next year. I will just post the looks I posted here on the blog before but haven’t able to post at Lookbook next month.