Grand Piano

Annyeong lovely people! How’r you all doing? As for me, thesis days is starting to creep in and the implementation/practicum for our feasibility study will be two weeks from now. So I’m starting to get pretty busy.
In the past few weeks, as my random thoughts get to me, it just struck me how some people finds delight in hurting others and watching others suffer. I’m like, why? Don’t you have a decent life to live? For you to actually take time to hurt others? Whatever your reasons and intentions are, I tell you, stop it.
There are lots and lots of productive things we can revel outselling into without causing others to suffer. What good thing will you gain from that? Absolutely none, my dear! Maybe some of you might be puzzled as to why am I doling out this sort of things.
Well, I’m still in the process of moving on. I know it’s been a couple of years (almost!) since I first told myself to let go of the wrong people. But this year, I’m more than 100% serious about this matter. Especially that the guy I’ve been talking about in my previous posts is proving me so right on everything that my friends been telling me that I should stop chasing the wrong people and just eat my feelings. (Just kidding w/ the latter!) What I really meant was to let go and move on for real.

As for this look, perf for the sweater weather although I bet all of you will agree when I say the weather is indeed bipolar, eh? And so are the people around us. They come and go. Hahaha! And uhm, it’s February and.. never mind. I know all the pieces of this particular look is completely far from this month’s fuss but ugh, whatever!

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Run On Love

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Oh hello! After all the lazy hazy mood or festive shenanigans we revel ourselves into, classes & work resumed. But due to the Pope’s visit here in the Philippines, all of us enjoyed an extended super long vacay. As for me, since I only have classes during MWF, I had a 6-day vacay. And in the past few days, the harsh reality came crashing in front of me – again.

I would admit that I tend to be pasaway and you know the feeling when the cliché “the truth hurts” and “the truth will set you free” slaps you right in the face to wake you up from something you can’t escape from. Some of us, or should I say, most of us refuse to face the reality and tend to fool ourselves with what we choose to believe which is basically a lie. Truth be told, I’ve been like that for a long time just recently.
So I ended up finding it hard even more to let go of people who doesn’t even deserve to be an issue in my life. That the ones who I invest too much effort, feelings & time are the same people who don’t even exert effort & take me seriously just like how I do to them. If some of you regularly read my blog posts, I know I already have heaps of posts about moving on & stuff. It’s not that easy to move on and they say there’s no formula for that.

But of course, if there’s a will, there’s a way. After all, it’s not my loss. It’s his. Ensuing on with today’s look, as we grow up, we tend to change our style preference, right? As for me, at first, I prefer the print on print formula and leggings that in my opinion now is too mainstream already. I go for the basic ones and dark hues which goes something like this:

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Bowler Hat & Skirt from H&M | Tights from Claire’s | Boots from Doc Martens

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Change Your Ticket

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Annyeong! Today’s the end of 2014 & apparently the start of another year, (2015) which commonly most of us desire to have their fair share of aspiring to start anew and be the better version of ourselves. But very seldom that we stay true, consistently stick and live by those so-called resolution/s we engage themselves with.
New year’s resolution as most of us perceive it. When you really, really, (like really!) want a big change (in a good way, obviously) to take place in your everyday life, then do something about it. Because no one can ever help you change but yourself.
And in order for you to do that successfully, you have to think first of all your life goals (be distinct), formulate ways on how you can be able to pursue those & stick with it – with all your heart, soul & mind! What’s the sense of coming up with life goals if you’ll just disregard it afterwards? You’re just making fool out of yourself & end up getting worst than ever.

As for me, I’m not that serious with goals, resolutions and stuff before. But of course, as we grow up, we get to learn new things from experience & other people. And worst, from pain. So as 2015 starts, I don’t wanna ever be in the place wherein I always have to run after people just for them to stay with me. If you don’t have plans of staying, then so be it. I’m not anybody’s toy or pet dog that you can ignore and leave in the pedestal whenever you want. Hey, I’m human. I have feelings too. Having said that, I decided to bid farewell to 2014 and to old habits/ways and people that I utterly value but don’t deserve it, as well. Yes it’s hard. But with God, I know I can do anything. And so, goodbye 2014 & to the people I love but don’t deserve my time, effort & tears. Annyeong, 2015!

With this, as seen on my facebook account, I had my first photoshoot for 2015 & here’s the outcome:

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Checkered Button down from GUESS? | Bowler Hat from H&M | Tank Top from Zara | Tutu Skirt from Forever 21 | Boots from SAX

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Going Nowhere

Oh hello there! How are you all doing? I hope everything’s fine, especially to all my fellow countrymen, since Typhoon Ruby has recently came in & so glad it went out from Manila already. My prayers are with those families affected. Don’t you worry guys, God will never leave us nor forsake us. He is bigger than Typhoon Ruby and any other storm that anyone could ever encounter! Can I get an amen?

As for my case, well, I’ve been implementing this resolution that.. Uhmm.. Well, I admit, truth be told, it’s not what I wish to revel into but it’s bluntly what I have to do. It’s for my good and this is pretty much what I deserve. To stop running after people who don’t even bother to include or squeeze me into their daily routine. Busy or not, if a person is important to you, you’ll make time for them. No but’s and no excuses. No questions asked. Am I right?
And what makes it worst is I always get ignored & unappreciated. Almost everytime. What makes it even more heartbreaking is that the people who I exert too much effort & spends my time with the most are the ones who takes me for granted the most, as well. They perhaps think that even how rude or unappreciative they may be to me, I would be still be there for them.

As a matter of fact, in line with people taking me for granted, I’m still stuck with the guy who for the record, had hurt me the most but I loved the most. Ironic, isn’t? Well, sometimes, when the reality has slapped you multiple times, you’ll realize that it’s about time that you stop letting others pushing and pulling you around like you’re some toy in a toy store. And with that, start moving on with your life without them. It may be hard, yes it is indeed hard. But hey honey, guess what? No one’s gonna/can ever help you forget and move on but yourself. Who says it’s easy? But there’s no harm in trying, yes?

Running away is not always a sign of weakness, sometimes it proves how strong you are because it’s not that easy to run away from something your heart doesn’t approves of but you know it’s for the best. So for today’s look, I’m pretty much busy with school stuffs, diverse events and such. And I’m more than a hundred percent sure all of us gets excessively busy at times and with that, we sometimes feel too lazy to dress up grandly, right? So here’s one of my go-to look or perhaps, my too-lazy-to-dress-up-too-much look:

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Such A Minnie (Meanie)

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Annyeong lovelies! Well, truth be told, I’m finding it hard to trim down my excessive eating & pigging out everywhere nowadays. Aside from the unexpected post birthday celebration-like buffet dinner with my two cousins, aunt & uncle from the US, along with Dad & bro, I’m sure none of you will make a dispute whne I say October, November & December are the best months of the year, yes? Celebrations, family gatherings & excessive shopping and pigging out here and there. So it’s pretty much the season wherein all of us are in high spirits, carefree & pretty much brisky about the holidays’ yingyangs. So it’s the season which people finds it hard to cut out that extra weight we acquire from pigging out too much, as well. Don’t we?

Personally, to be blunt, I’m currently struggling controlling myself from eating too much due to consecutive celebrations and going out. Not to mention, there are lots of November celebrants in our family. Then followed by next month’s feasts. Anyway, I think it’s obvious as to whom is my favorite disney character is, right? Minnie Mouse! Well, aside from the fact that the said cutie patootie character’s show is one of my favorite shows to watch back in my childhood days, along with other Playhouse Disney shows, Nickeledeon & Cartoon Network shows, perhaps, some of you might notice the fact that I have a huge fixation for ribbons, yes? Well, that’s why I love Minnie so much then!

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Black velvet bow from Forever 21, Denim Pullover from Topshop

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I Like You

Annyeong! How are you guys doing? I had my birthday celebrated a couple of days ago. And we chose to eat dinner at Yakimix. At first, the latter had a constant dispute with Vikings Luxury Buffet. But the former reigned and of course, it made our tummies zany and came home with a dozen of donuts to munch the next day. Apparently, truth be told, I had my pre-birthday celebration last November 8 with my favorite auntie & brother where we also witnessed the ever fluffy, marshmallow-like, super adorbs Baymax courtesy of Big Hero 6 at Powerplant Cinemas, had two doses of TCB during the day and took the 12-inch Mighty Ton burger & huge milkshake, The Milky Way at The Porch by Casa Verde.

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On the other hand, turning 21 was like a total different story for me. (OMG! I feel old already! *hides face*) Late at night, when we reached home, I came up with divergent realizations as to what the past year taught me. In my relationships with people, in particular. Maybe some of you might find me sensitive or whatsoever. (some of you who follows & reads my posts everytime/most of the time, if there’s any) But I’m just expressing my thoughts & feelings. Nothing’s wrong with staying true to ourselves, right? That’s better rather than pretending something you’re not.

In relation to that, facing and accepting the truth is better than making yourself believe on things that you want to perceive as the truth but you know there were all just lies. Like for example, you’re making yourself believe that someone you love will love you back someday. But the truth is, you know that person won’t. To be blunt with you, I experienced that just recently. If some of you read my previous posts you’ll understand well what I’ve been through with a certain guy (somehow). Having said that, it led me to another realization that we should not force things to happen that are not meant to be. Or else, reality will come & slap you right in the face with the truth. One thing I learned with all the excessive heartbreaks that I’ve encountered in the past (especially with a certain guy) is that we should not put our guards down way too fast & trust people just like that. For almost everything in this world is temporary. Including people and their feelings. A lot of guys out there may come into your life and make you feel you’re special to them. But only one of them, in the right time, are meant to stay in your life forever. So we should not make decisions just like that without thinking of the million possibilities that may happen afterwards. Expectations might kill you alive.

Personally, I’ve encountered those A LOT. People letting me down after all I’ve done for them and stuff. Oh please, I had too much. Then it hit me, why would I let me lose myself trying to hold on to people who don’t even care nor afraid of losing me? Reality taught me that, by the way. So we should open our eyes with what’s real rather than drowning ourselves with things that we just want to believe in. On the other hand, being a K-pop fangirl for the past few years, I must say, it translates on what I opt to wear. After all, as the cliche puts it, we are what we wear, isn’t?

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Bowler Hat from H&M | Watch from Swatch 

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Ain’t Been Done

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So how’s your semester break going? As for me, well, to be blunt, I find all what’s happening these days overwhelming and uhmm.. AHH! Can’t seem to translate it into words. For the record, I unintentionally opened up to my mom & aunt about my unipolar/clinical depression which was utterly unplanned. It just came out natural. Well, I guess the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks indeed.
Just recently, the friend who I mentioned in my prior post/s that been my crying shoulder for quite sometime then suddenly left me alone without any valid reason or any single explanation just sent me message which brought me to tears – again. Saying she had life issues in the past that she chose not to share to anyone. And it just hit me, why do I easily trust people just as they find it hard to trust me? Though I respect other people’s decisions but there are just people who you just feel like it’s utterly too much for you to trust them again the way you did before. It’s like there’s this miniature wall built that’s stopping you to trust them again.

As what they say, if you love something/someone, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be. Ensuing with this look, well, as the weather here in MNL seems bipolar, so is me!

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Black Bowler hat from H&M | Shoes from SM GTW

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Little Me

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Hi there! Sorry for my insolvency this past months/weeks, well, due to our midterm and final period in my final year in college (hopefully!!), I can’t post as frequent as I usually do before.

On the other hand, I hope you don’t mind if I vent my feelings here. I just can’t take the fact that the world is like being turn upside down nowadays. In general, whether when it comes to friends, I’ve been encountering people that I got conflict with that the person seem to be insensitive and find it hard to admit her fault and not seem to know how to say sorry. It’s like that person is unbelievably expecting I would be the one to apologize despite of the fact that I’m not the one at fault. And I have another ex-friend who had been my “comforter” before about my problems with a certain guy. She’s been there for me at all times, especially when I need a shoulder to lean on. At that time, I was utterly thankful of having her in my life. Not until, the heartbreaking day came that she left me in an instant. No explanations, no signs of the idea of her, leaving me. Nothing. Not to mention that I send numerous messages to her in facebook, asking her what went wrong. But she chose to ignore all of those & fling off our friendship that I taught was a real one. It led me to wondering if real friends still exists these days. Only God does.

On the auxiliary aspect, subsequent to the avowed aspect, when it comes to love, oh boy! I think I don’t feel the need to elaborate it further. It makes me feel little even more that all of the said people is so much happy with their lives by putting someone down. With all of those, my thought of going to consultation is growing hefty than ever. Gee, I don’t know. So help me, God!

Proceeding with my look post, well, I must admit that this particular look is a backlog. Meaning, this was taken I think, last year! I just found out that I still have it and so, there. The statement top says it all! Don’t you agree? Just what I needed to do!

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Break Free

Annyeong! Okay okay, I know it’s been (almost) a couple of weeks since I should’ve posted my recent look post. And my apologies for the said matter. It’s just that these past few weeks have been the peak of our stressful requirements and activities since I’m in my final year on college (with God’s grace and mercy!!). With that, I can’t find enough time to post this one. Especially our final exams is coming up in two weeks and we’re like drowning with the stress due to some of our professors bombarding us with school works.

Not to mention my state right now. As some of you remember from my prior posts that I found out that I’ve been suffering from depression. And at this point in time, after reading various articles (from the net, newspaper & even listening unexpectedly in the radio), I’m pretty much puzzled as to what type of depression I’ve been tangled into way before. And I’ve been having thoughts of going into consultation perhaps, if time and ample courage permits me.
With regards with my look atm, well, I can’t seem to hold myself away from my excessive adornment with florals. ‪#‎SorryNotSorry‬ right there. Teehee!

There are really those times where we just don’t care if what we wear is in trend or not, what matters to us is our personal preference. Though I’m not saying that floral is out of trend or whatsoever, okay? My point is, we shouldn’t force or perhaps, sacrifice our own style preference just for us to be able to follow today’s trend. Got my point?

Flower Crown from Jellybean | Floral vest from Forever 21 | Shoes and skirt from SM Dept Store

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Ain’t Nobody

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Oh hey! How are you? As for me, well, it’s our final period which equates to numerous defense for our thesis, feasibility study and the like. In short, stress! What makes it heavier than ever is my state is getting worst. My clinical depression in particular. I felt like I’m tired of loving. Scratch that. It’s like I’m sick of being stuck in the same conundrum. Loving without being loved back.

It has been said that time heals all wounds. I don’t agree for the wounds remain. In time, the mind protecting its sanity covers them and the pain lessens. Sometimes, in order for us not to get hurt further, we have to set aside the why’s. There’s a lot of questions but you don’t get to fathom all the answers. Perhaps, in time, everything will be alright. Everyone is a fool when they’re in love. We defy all the logical things in the world.

Furthermore, what I’ve learned from it was if you’re meant to be with someone, it will happen. You can’t force love. Even if your first love becomes unrequited, you should move on. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Maybe someone better is meant for you. Someone who will always be there and will never ever give up on you whatever life renders you. Someone who would never hurt you intentionally and would never ever replace you with another.

Someone who will never takes pleasure in messing with your feelings and plays with it like some random toy from a toy store and throws it at the floor when they’re fed up with you. Someone who’s brave and man enough to prove to you how much you mean to them. Whatever it takes. Maybe mine was caught in a traffic. Or maybe not? Only God knows. We will meet in God’s time. *winks*

Okay the lovesick commotion ends here. Sorry if I always have those frequently here in le blog nowadays. Due to my tedious state and my fixation for indie and love drunk songs atm, dark pieces never gets old in my clothes. It’s more of a staple for me. As what they say, the clothes you wear reflects what you are and what you feel inside that you don’t get to express lightheartedly for the fear of getting misjudged.

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Floral Cover up from Diamond | Bow Headband from Forever 21 | Black Bow cuff from H&M

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