Well, summer is about to end. And since I’m just laying around le house, well.. I’m currently uhmm.. feeling that my insecurities are taking over and filling up and yes. I know, as a Christian, I may sound like I’m not thankful and it’s like I’m underestimating how He created me. Multifarious of you might not understand where I’m coming from and why I’m acting this way.
Well, to cut the story short, since when I was in second grade back then, I was bullied until I graduated from HS, this had gone on and on and on. Furthermore, this caused me to question myself and God, as well. On why did my life turned out like this. Why do I need to run after people just for them to notice and appreciate me. Just for them not to leave me alone. Divergent thoughts hurled into my mind as everybody criticize me and underestimate my weaknesses and capabilities. As I experienced being hated, disgusted and a laughing stock among our section and excessively deceived by the guys I used to adorn. Did things a girl don’t normally do for a guy that should be in the other way around. And on that specific phase of my life, I was so weak, have no one to turn to and feel like giving up.
And now, though the bullying had finally stopped, I still experience being the less liked among our clique at times, being ignored by the people I love that resulted fo me to look like a lame dog running after people just for them to notice and appreciate me and many more.
But then, how was I different from before? Well, as what I’ve mentioned before, I was a born again Christian, right? Before, I must say, I’m much of a Pseudo-Christian. Christian by name but acts like an unbeliever. However, after I undergone a one year bible college/training on our church back in 2010, I was enlightened and divulged with the goodness of our Most High. O:)
I waded through the fact that when faced with trials and when we flick through bad times, when we seek His face and let our souls be filled with His word, then we already have a weapon against trials! ( Ephesians 6:17- Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.) And when we do, we will blessed in everything we do. (James 1:25- But the man who looks intently in the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he’ll be lessed in what he does.) When in doubt (James 1:6-8), we must buckled down and persistent in standing firm in the Lord (Excerpt from Isaiah 7:9- If you don’t stand firm in your faith, you’ll not stand at all.; 2 Cor 1:24) When faced with fears, we shouldn’t hesitate to ask for His help. After all, He is our Jehovah Shalom, the Prince of Peace. We shouldn’t be afraid for He’s always there to help us. (Lamentations 3:56-57).
Hereafter, we should also goad and fortify each other (2 Sam 22:29-31; Hebrews 10:22-24) and we should trust God even we can’t find any reason to, just like how Abraham did. ( Romans 4:18-22) Besides, we believe in Him thouh we haven’t seen Him. (Hebrews 11:1- Now, faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.)
In conclusion, we should never reckon and think that we’re alone for God’s never gonna leave us nor forsake us. On top of everything, nothing can seperate us from His unfailing love.
(Romans 8:38-39- For I am convinced that neither death or life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.)