Squeeze

Hi there lovelies! Before October bids goodbye, here I am, almost not posting anything again in le blog. Sorry, I’m currently looking for a job at the moment and I must say, I’m in the process of finding myself. Looking for that thing where I would do best. Most of us tend to take things for granted then have regrets of not taking something seriously later on.

I, myself have recently done that. That’s why I promised God and myself that I would make sure not to let any blessing come to waste again. I’ve been looking for a job this whole month of October but it felt like it’s been a couple of months! It’s a fine line between me, not being a homebody and me, aspiring to be somebody someday. I may not know yet what in specific I would do best. But one thing’s for sure: God have everything taken care of – He is the God of all miracles!

Few months ago, we went to Century City Mall to satisfy our tummies in Hole in the Wall but since we went there too early with our hungry tummies, the said food place is still closed (and since we still have other errands to attend to afterwards) so we decided to head over Le Petit Souffle which I must say is one of the most dreamy place I’ve ever been – not to mention their food is stellar. Try their Mac & Cheese!

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Here’s the complete set of what we ate at Le Petit Souffle:

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For this particular look, I must say it’s a lovechild of my obsession for florals and the color black! Keeping things muted and not too bright in the eyes.

3 Ways: Love in The Dark

Annyeong! Sorry for being inactive for a week or so. Been to diverse events since my favorite cousins is in town so I got preoccupied by their much awaited summer vacay. And so my tummy! My cheeks looks like a pair of burger buns right now, for crying out loud!

Aside from this, I’ve been to a rollercoaster of negativity with the couple of weeks of hiatus I’ve been to. Had a complicated issue with my wavemate in expense of defending a friend late last month and the feeling of not having the freedom and happiness that people of my age deserves to have due to having over-strict parents went up last week until now.

And it’s hitting me so deep. The fact that the only person you really can depend on is yourself. Which is immensely hard for me to take in. Someone who went through a lot of rejection in diverse sorts all throughout the years. Someone who’s been yearning for one thing all this time. To be loved as much as the love that she gives to everyone who she loves. To get the love that she deserves.

And I must admit it’s hard to push yourself to do best in everything when you feel like no one bothers to understand and be at your side at times like these. Because they don’t know and fathom how painful and heavy everything that you’ve been through/going through. And it’s agitating and heart wrenching to take in the fact that you don’t know what to do anymore but to pretend that everything’s okay and you always have to try hard to hold back those tears not to pour all over your face and force a smile – well, a fake one, all the time.

So help me, God. – Matthew 21:22*

To keep myself sane, I went through my closet and declare a rade on what pieces I can incorporate with my black knit see through top with faux leather short sleeves. And I opt to dole out short description on each conveying diverse sides of me in real life.

Chill Pill

When I’m on those days in which I’m not in the mood to dress up, I go for casual, toned down and laid back look. Comfort over style, well.. sometimes.

Plunge on Grunge

I’ve always or let’s say for so many years, I fell over heels with color black. Whether I’m in the mood to dress up or not. Especially nowadays. I’m not fond of wearing too much neon colors. Like when I’m wearing one piece of striking color, I keep the rest of the pieces muted.

The Kpop fangirl
Been a cray cray fangirl since early 2010. I can say that the my kpop fangirl side took over and has influenced my style on about 60-80% or more. But of course, I still keep up with the cons of thr tropical and excessively hot country I’m in.

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Annyeong! How are you all doing? I really made sure that I get to post this week since I already started working and it’s only during the weekends that I would get to rest, chill and etc. But then, of course, if you love something (or someone.. err.. *covers face*), you would really make time for it no matter how busy you can be, right? Otherwise, it’s an indication that it’s either, it’s not your priority or you just don’t love it that much. How double meaning can that get? Uh, whatever!

Speaking of priorities, I know I’ve already avowed in one of my previous posts as to what are my goals and plans of partaking in the future. But then, as I convened my thoughts these past few days, I decipher what I really want to pursue in life. Although, truth be told, it’s not just one, not just two, but three! Fashion which is immensely obvious where my heart is. It’s either I would take various short courses at Fashion Institute of the Philippines in Ortigas, take Fashion Design & Merchandising at De La Salle – College of Saint Benilde which is I think is a 4-year course or take a 1 year or 4 year Fashion Design & Marketing course at School of Fashion & The Arts (Although it’s far from our house) which I’m planning to take next year, perhaps. Whatever my final choice of course & school I may be.

Another is Dance which I started being fixated with since I was a kid. Although I want to take a preliminary workshop first before taking a formal course if ever I’ll push it through. Why? I stopped dancing for about 4 or 5 years already due to my asthma which I was healed from for a long time. I guess I just didn’t push myself too much to it these days. And I would not deny that among the three, dance is my least priority of pursuing. I don’t know why. Maybe I would pursue it if I still can after 4 or 5 years?

Last but my number one priority of them all, Law. I never been on the top of the class in my elementary and high school days. I was the happy-go-lucky-rebellious-type back then. Not until, to my surprise, when we started having law subjects back in my last two years in college, I was blessed to be in the top 1-3 consistently. I must say that I didn’t strive hard just because of the joy of being recognized as one of the top law students in class but it’s predominantly because law has captured my heart and I felt pure bliss in studying it. Having said that, it was a firm decision of mine to pursue law after 2 or 3 years at either UP, San Beda or UST.

Above all these, I want to go after my own dreams with my own money. My parents can pay for my tuition etc, yes. But I think it’s far more fulfilling if you get to go after your life goals and dreams with your hard-earned money, right? It’s like you prove those people who don’t believe in you wrong. As for my case, I can prove those bullies (with many ‘S’, BULLIESSSS!) who made me think twice (even thrice and so) to believe in myself that I may be some kind of dirt to them before but I can smile to them from ear to ear in the near future and prove them wrong of wasting their precious time on belittling me.

As to my look for today, I took the risk of wearing a floral maxi dress which I don’t usually wear yet in a normal setting. But since I’m currently working now and I’m no longer a student, I decided to pull off a bit mature look than what I usually do. Of course, with my fixation on florals saying hello.. again.

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Leather jacket from Next | Boots from SAX | Bowler hat from H&M

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Stronger Than You Know

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Hello there! How are you guys doing? Pat on the back, I’m staying true to my goal of making up for the late posts I’ve convened recently.

Anyhow, dealing with the diverse changes that’s been taking place in my life now (I’ve mentioned it on my previous posts) and after I’ve internalized and had the time to process things that happened before, it made me realize how important it is to be wise and careful with the people you’re gonna invest into and who you must disregard and let go.

Like for instance, would you go for a friend who’s with you everyday but when trial comes or when you need someone to help you process your thoughts and weigh things that bother you, you can’t count on her/him? Or would you rather go with someone you don’t get to meet and be with everyday/frequently but you can always (like, always!) count on them whenever you need someone to talk to and they can always help you with anything? Truth be told, I would go with the latter. I have friends like that who I seldom meet but with just one click, they always put up with anything under the sun.

On the other hand, would you opt for a guy/girl who let’s say, excels on the same field of study as yours and you guys have the same fixation on many things but seems immature on certain things and doesn’t know yet what it’s like to be in a relationship and how to treat girls/guys right? Or would you go for someone who’s not fond of some of the things that you enjoy and used to doing (for example, he’s not fond of hanging out just as you do) and you sometimes find him/her too matured than you are right now but he/she helps you how to overcome those doubts and insecurities you have inside you, he/she knows how to handle relationships and he/she brings out the best in you?

My point is, we have to ascertain who are the ones who deserve to stay in our lives and the ones who don’t even deserve even an inch of us. Who to keep and who to discard before you develop an incredible attachment on someone and it’s too late to back out. Comprehending this after 21 years of living here on earth screams “Don’t be so shallow and stupid! Use your brain!” Suffice to say, we should act according on what we know rather than on what we feel. Don’t let your emotions manipulate your decisions wholly. Make sure you don’t let anyone take you for granted like I did before.

Upon speaking of maturity, it’s very timely that I’m wearing an vintage-y statement shirt like this. Teehee! πŸ˜‰ And this particular look shows my present color palette nowadays which to be honest, I think will somehow change as I enter the business world and bid farewell to my school uniform. Aww! *mixed emotions*

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Bowler Hat & Ribbon Cuff from H&M | Statement Shirt from Artwork | Watch from Swatch

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I Like You

Annyeong! How are you guys doing? I had my birthday celebrated a couple of days ago. And we chose to eat dinner at Yakimix. At first, the latter had a constant dispute with Vikings Luxury Buffet. But the former reigned and of course, it made our tummies zany and came home with a dozen of donuts to munch the next day. Apparently, truth be told, I had my pre-birthday celebration last November 8 with my favorite auntie & brother where we also witnessed the ever fluffy, marshmallow-like, super adorbs Baymax courtesy of Big Hero 6 at Powerplant Cinemas, had two doses of TCB during the day and took the 12-inch Mighty Ton burger & huge milkshake, The Milky Way at The Porch by Casa Verde.

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On the other hand, turning 21 was like a total different story for me. (OMG! I feel old already! *hides face*) Late at night, when we reached home, I came up with divergent realizations as to what the past year taught me. In my relationships with people, in particular. Maybe some of you might find me sensitive or whatsoever. (some of you who follows & reads my posts everytime/most of the time, if there’s any) But I’m just expressing my thoughts & feelings. Nothing’s wrong with staying true to ourselves, right? That’s better rather than pretending something you’re not.

In relation to that, facing and accepting the truth is better than making yourself believe on things that you want to perceive as the truth but you know there were all just lies. Like for example, you’re making yourself believe that someone you love will love you back someday. But the truth is, you know that person won’t. To be blunt with you, I experienced that just recently. If some of you read my previous posts you’ll understand well what I’ve been through with a certain guy (somehow). Having said that, it led me to another realization that we should not force things to happen that are not meant to be. Or else, reality will come & slap you right in the face with the truth. One thing I learned with all the excessive heartbreaks that I’ve encountered in the past (especially with a certain guy) is that we should not put our guards down way too fast & trust people just like that. For almost everything in this world is temporary. Including people and their feelings. A lot of guys out there may come into your life and make you feel you’re special to them. But only one of them, in the right time, are meant to stay in your life forever. So we should not make decisions just like that without thinking of the million possibilities that may happen afterwards. Expectations might kill you alive.

Personally, I’ve encountered those A LOT. People letting me down after all I’ve done for them and stuff. Oh please, I had too much. Then it hit me, why would I let me lose myself trying to hold on to people who don’t even care nor afraid of losing me? Reality taught me that, by the way. So we should open our eyes with what’s real rather than drowning ourselves with things that we just want to believe in. On the other hand, being a K-pop fangirl for the past few years, I must say, it translates on what I opt to wear. After all, as the cliche puts it, we are what we wear, isn’t?

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Bowler Hat from H&M | Watch from SwatchΒ 

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Ain’t Been Done

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So how’s your semester break going? As for me, well, to be blunt, I find all what’s happening these days overwhelming and uhmm.. AHH! Can’t seem to translate it into words. For the record, I unintentionally opened up to my mom & aunt about my unipolar/clinical depression which was utterly unplanned. It just came out natural. Well, I guess the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks indeed.
Just recently, the friend who I mentioned in my prior post/s that been my crying shoulder for quite sometime then suddenly left me alone without any valid reason or any single explanation just sent me message which brought me to tears – again. Saying she had life issues in the past that she chose not to share to anyone. And it just hit me, why do I easily trust people just as they find it hard to trust me? Though I respect other people’s decisions but there are just people who you just feel like it’s utterly too much for you to trust them again the way you did before. It’s like there’s this miniature wall built that’s stopping you to trust them again.

As what they say, if you love something/someone, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be. Ensuing with this look, well, as the weather here in MNL seems bipolar, so is me!

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Black Bowler hat from H&M | Shoes from SM GTW

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