3 Ways: Love in The Dark

Annyeong! Sorry for being inactive for a week or so. Been to diverse events since my favorite cousins is in town so I got preoccupied by their much awaited summer vacay. And so my tummy! My cheeks looks like a pair of burger buns right now, for crying out loud!

Aside from this, I’ve been to a rollercoaster of negativity with the couple of weeks of hiatus I’ve been to. Had a complicated issue with my wavemate in expense of defending a friend late last month and the feeling of not having the freedom and happiness that people of my age deserves to have due to having over-strict parents went up last week until now.

And it’s hitting me so deep. The fact that the only person you really can depend on is yourself. Which is immensely hard for me to take in. Someone who went through a lot of rejection in diverse sorts all throughout the years. Someone who’s been yearning for one thing all this time. To be loved as much as the love that she gives to everyone who she loves. To get the love that she deserves.

And I must admit it’s hard to push yourself to do best in everything when you feel like no one bothers to understand and be at your side at times like these. Because they don’t know and fathom how painful and heavy everything that you’ve been through/going through. And it’s agitating and heart wrenching to take in the fact that you don’t know what to do anymore but to pretend that everything’s okay and you always have to try hard to hold back those tears not to pour all over your face and force a smile – well, a fake one, all the time.

So help me, God. – Matthew 21:22*

To keep myself sane, I went through my closet and declare a rade on what pieces I can incorporate with my black knit see through top with faux leather short sleeves. And I opt to dole out short description on each conveying diverse sides of me in real life.

Chill Pill

When I’m on those days in which I’m not in the mood to dress up, I go for casual, toned down and laid back look. Comfort over style, well.. sometimes.

Plunge on Grunge

I’ve always or let’s say for so many years, I fell over heels with color black. Whether I’m in the mood to dress up or not. Especially nowadays. I’m not fond of wearing too much neon colors. Like when I’m wearing one piece of striking color, I keep the rest of the pieces muted.

The Kpop fangirl
Been a cray cray fangirl since early 2010. I can say that the my kpop fangirl side took over and has influenced my style on about 60-80% or more. But of course, I still keep up with the cons of thr tropical and excessively hot country I’m in.

Canvas

A month from now marks the first anniversary since I graduated from college. From then on, I can say that many things has changed. Some people turned out to be a waste of time, some things shed light upon the goals I have to focus myself on in order for me to be the place where I want to be in and be someone I’m aspiring myself to be.

After I got hired from two companies I didn’t get to stay for long, upon getting endorsed to operations recently, (Finally, thank you Lord!!) I convened to a realization to a firm goal.

Since this is a huge blessing for me, I have to everything I can for me to make the most out of this. I have to make sure that this time, I would be stable and further hone my capabilities. Not just be satisfied with what I am right now and always aim higher than what I already attained. There’s nothing you can’t acquire when you go for it, against all odds.


 

Not In That Way

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Annyeong! Sorry for being inactive for the past month. School works piled up, diverse requirements jammed and stress get the best of me. And uhh, well, my heart’s disposition is.. I don’t know how to put this. But I must admit, I’m finally beginning to push myself not to be too selfless when it comes to love and start thinking what do I really deserve.
Especially stop wasting my time and feelings for the wrong person. That’s why I’m opening my heart to others but still be wise and very careful at the same time. There’s this guy I recently met. At first, I was like: “Finally!” But and BUT, I don’t wanna assume anything yet. Too early for that. And of course, the past (almost) 2 years I became close minded and blinded with the wrong guy has taught me a lot.
Having said that, I promise myself not to let myself fall into the wrong person that will stir up trouble and painful conundrum into my heart later on again. Therefore, I shouldn’t let myself get attached to that guy I just met recently – yet. After all, I’m not yet certain if he likes me or he just want the both of us to be friends and just friends. Just gotta guard my heart and take it slow. If it’s meant to be, God will make a way for us to end up being together. If not, wag naman sana! Just kidding! Jesus, take the wheel! smile emoticon

Let’s carry on with my look for the day. To be blunt, this is apparently a back log. And obviously, I’m sticking out my nose with an all black ensemble, keeping it clean and not too over the top.

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Our Horizons Meet

For my look post today, staying true to what I’ve mentioned in my previous post, I will not leave my edgy self for too long. The wonders of my swirling moods on dressing up! Just like in real life, when it comes to love-hate relationship. People mistake its real meaning. Most of us believe that it’s the opposite of love.

But little did they know it wasn’t. It’s as strong as love. For you won’t hate someone without a reason. It has deeper meaning that equates to deeper emotions. Hate, truth to be told, is more bothering than love. Because you think of the person you hate than the one you love. As for me, I’m dealing with that conundrum right now. Loving someone so much and ended up hating the person.

Hating someone who hurt you is not the solution to moving on. It will just magnify your feelings to that person that sooner or later will develop into something big, something you feared the most the moment you decided to hate that person. Then I comprehended the fact that being bitter is not really for the better. You’re just fooling yourself. You feed your thoughts with stupid nonsense things just to satisfy your ego instead of letting everything go. Things may be hard, nothing in this world was certain. Nothing was a hundred percent sure. But the odds of failing should never get in the way of trying.

Ensuing with the details of this particular look, carrying on with playing with colors from my look prior from this one, I decided and just because I’m in the mood for I’m-in-the-streets-and-I-wanna-dress-up-a-bit kind of look, here’s the outcome!

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Like A Black Widow Baby

Here we go with my overdue look post. My deep apologies with my consecutiveΒ delinquency. It’s just that I find it a bit hard to blog these days. Aside from my jam packed schedule due to my clingy fourth year stress bites, I’m feeling exasperatingly uninspired and heavy handed these days. With all the stress that I’m dealing right now and some personal things. But then, I promise I will do my best to avoid this tardiness syndrome I’m getting into. I just don’t wanna vent it too much on public. Those of you who have read/will read my preceding look posts, I bet you will notice my bereaved thoughts and statements here and there, don’t you?

Anyway, those who follow my lookbook/fashion venture here in my dearest blog (if there’s any) will apprehend that I’m more of an edgy one than being the i-love-pink-to-the-moon-and-back type. Though I’m not saying that I despise playing with colors. If you’ll see my next look post, you’ll ascertain well what I meant. But there are those days that I feel like hugging my inner edgy self. Culling to wearing monochromatic pieces won’t hurt. Especially with black. Just learn to put the right ones together to come up with a prim one.

Black jumper from Lee | Black beanie from Oxygen | Black ribbon cuff from H&M

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MTBD

Oh hi! Well, time for another look post, baby! But first, as what I’ve affirmed before, since my blog has been one of basically, my outlet of emotions, let me dole my current feelings before carrying on with my of course, another edgy look. Divergent thoughts kept on hurling on my mind. And yes, truth be told, it drives me insane in the most zany way possible.

I know it sucks to get a hold of something you thought was real and you thought was special. And in the blink of an eye, you found out that it’s not real, after all. And I was like, how can I go forward when I can’t get over the hump (humps, bluntly!) from where I’ve been? What now? How do I escape from this fiasco then? But we all experience hurt and all those things but it’s up to us how we’ll treat that experience. It’s either we’ll never forget it or move on and trust God with the plans he laid out for us.

With that avowed, another edgy look again! Well, for those who know me well, I bet you’re not shocked at all with that, don’t you?

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Something Real than Sabotage

Yeoboseyo! I’m back! Apparently, I was gone for about a month and so. Say goodbye to clingy hiatus and let’s supervene and make this silly mind working! I must say, with the more than a month hiatus I’ve been made me inspired and aspire to do well in my blogging stretch.

In the past few months, I’ve realized how much “cover ups” I have in life. To be blunt, I’m pretty much of a brisky, super hyper, happy person kind of person whenever I interact with the people I encounter each day of my life. But what most people don’t ascertain is what’s inside of me. Pretending everything’s on its perfect place but the truth is it’s like everything inside of me was falling apart. But as what the cliche sets forth is that even if life throws you 100 reasons to crumble and give up, you should still choose to smile and still find one reason not to give up. After all, we’re never and will never be alone! For we have a God who will never ever leave us nor forsake us.

But then, on the contrary, sometimes, when you fight for something/someone you love and you want to be in your life forever because it/they tend to make your heart alive and your life more worthwile but after all the effort and time you exerted for it/that person wasn’t doing any good to you.You felt like it’s more like you’re finding for something you taught was real but seems like it’s not worth it anymore, let go and let God handle it for you. As what /Shai Lagarde/ puts it,

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Likewise, I decided to make a lovechild of my edgy and girly side convene (with this look) that innates that even if I face struggles and rejection in life, even how hard it may be, I would never ever give up. After all, falling down is a part of life. Getting back up is living it. Furthermore, here it is!

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Camo jacket from brother’s closet | LBD from Korean Rose | Flower crown from Jellybean | Ribbon cuff from H&M | Watch from Swatch

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Geuriwo Haeyo

Alright alright! I ascertain that some of you might not fathom the meaning of the preceding paragraph. Pardon me for my excessive flaunting of my Blackjack-self! “Blackjack” is what K-netizens and Kpop fangirls and fanboys deemed with 2ne1’s fanbase.Β And at present, they debuted their latest single, Missing You/Geuriwo Haeyo.

In view of these, I decided to make a Missing You/Geuriwohaeyo-inspired look! Principally, as you all perceived, in the MV, 2ne1 are on monochromatic pieces in black. In line with my edgy self, it came naturally when I was marched into my closet to look for pieces. Here’s what it looked like!

Black sweater from Passport | Skater Skirt from SM GTW

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** By the way, do you still remember my previous What’s The Fuss? blog posts wherein I post a series of looks with the same statement piece. First, it was Tutu skirt and the second one was animal prints. Now, I’m gonna be posting a series of looks (three) with monochromatic pieces in black, with this look as the first one in the series! Stay tuned for the next addition to the monochromatic pieces this week & next week, yes?

xx

You’re So Fine, You Blow My Mind

Here’s one of my cray-cray-kiddo self looks again! Well, to be blunt with you, some of the looks that I’ll post this past few weeks due to my 3 months hiatus on my blog and 2 months on Lookbook. And I intently miss doing look posts so bad! And recently, I got this unsurpassingly cute Mickey top and went cray cray like a kid went crazy the moment her mommy hand over a bubblegum-flavored ice cream to her! Hence, I decided to incorporate the former with my edgy and Kpop fangirl side on this look. Hope you guys adorn it! πŸ™‚

Mickey top | Black stockings from SM Dept Store

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xx

Better In Time

Well, does this look accustomed to some of you? Maybe this is the uniform of your mayordoma at house, yes? Tee hee! No no no! I’m just kidding! πŸ™‚ Perhaps, for several, this might look farcical and peculiar. Due to its unconventional length and all that.

Bluntly, I wore this specific top in last year’s PFW Holiday Season. So, this is discernably like a remake already. That time, I wasn’t that consistent as a blogger and Lookbook-er unlike now. So I didn’t able to contrive a look by the book. Therefore, I decided to cobble together a covalesnce and proficiently classy version look with this particular top as the statement piece. Moreover, my edgy had come alive and arrive at a Luanna P-ish look! πŸ™‚

Top from Gemini, Black tights from Q Queen

Black spikes cuff from Rebel Gear, Heels from F&H

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xx