Such A Minnie (Meanie)

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Annyeong lovelies! Well, truth be told, I’m finding it hard to trim down my excessive eating & pigging out everywhere nowadays. Aside from the unexpected post birthday celebration-like buffet dinner with my two cousins, aunt & uncle from the US, along with Dad & bro, I’m sure none of you will make a dispute whne I say October, November & December are the best months of the year, yes? Celebrations, family gatherings & excessive shopping and pigging out here and there. So it’s pretty much the season wherein all of us are in high spirits, carefree & pretty much brisky about the holidays’ yingyangs. So it’s the season which people finds it hard to cut out that extra weight we acquire from pigging out too much, as well. Don’t we?

Personally, to be blunt, I’m currently struggling controlling myself from eating too much due to consecutive celebrations and going out. Not to mention, there are lots of November celebrants in our family. Then followed by next month’s feasts. Anyway, I think it’s obvious as to whom is my favorite disney character is, right? Minnie Mouse! Well, aside from the fact that the said cutie patootie character’s show is one of my favorite shows to watch back in my childhood days, along with other Playhouse Disney shows, Nickeledeon & Cartoon Network shows, perhaps, some of you might notice the fact that I have a huge fixation for ribbons, yes? Well, that’s why I love Minnie so much then!

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Black velvet bow from Forever 21, Denim Pullover from Topshop

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I Like You

Annyeong! How are you guys doing? I had my birthday celebrated a couple of days ago. And we chose to eat dinner at Yakimix. At first, the latter had a constant dispute with Vikings Luxury Buffet. But the former reigned and of course, it made our tummies zany and came home with a dozen of donuts to munch the next day. Apparently, truth be told, I had my pre-birthday celebration last November 8 with my favorite auntie & brother where we also witnessed the ever fluffy, marshmallow-like, super adorbs Baymax courtesy of Big Hero 6 at Powerplant Cinemas, had two doses of TCB during the day and took the 12-inch Mighty Ton burger & huge milkshake, The Milky Way at The Porch by Casa Verde.

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On the other hand, turning 21 was like a total different story for me. (OMG! I feel old already! *hides face*) Late at night, when we reached home, I came up with divergent realizations as to what the past year taught me. In my relationships with people, in particular. Maybe some of you might find me sensitive or whatsoever. (some of you who follows & reads my posts everytime/most of the time, if there’s any) But I’m just expressing my thoughts & feelings. Nothing’s wrong with staying true to ourselves, right? That’s better rather than pretending something you’re not.

In relation to that, facing and accepting the truth is better than making yourself believe on things that you want to perceive as the truth but you know there were all just lies. Like for example, you’re making yourself believe that someone you love will love you back someday. But the truth is, you know that person won’t. To be blunt with you, I experienced that just recently. If some of you read my previous posts you’ll understand well what I’ve been through with a certain guy (somehow). Having said that, it led me to another realization that we should not force things to happen that are not meant to be. Or else, reality will come & slap you right in the face with the truth. One thing I learned with all the excessive heartbreaks that I’ve encountered in the past (especially with a certain guy) is that we should not put our guards down way too fast & trust people just like that. For almost everything in this world is temporary. Including people and their feelings. A lot of guys out there may come into your life and make you feel you’re special to them. But only one of them, in the right time, are meant to stay in your life forever. So we should not make decisions just like that without thinking of the million possibilities that may happen afterwards. Expectations might kill you alive.

Personally, I’ve encountered those A LOT. People letting me down after all I’ve done for them and stuff. Oh please, I had too much. Then it hit me, why would I let me lose myself trying to hold on to people who don’t even care nor afraid of losing me? Reality taught me that, by the way. So we should open our eyes with what’s real rather than drowning ourselves with things that we just want to believe in. On the other hand, being a K-pop fangirl for the past few years, I must say, it translates on what I opt to wear. After all, as the cliche puts it, we are what we wear, isn’t?

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Bowler Hat from H&M | Watch from Swatch 

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Ain’t Been Done

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So how’s your semester break going? As for me, well, to be blunt, I find all what’s happening these days overwhelming and uhmm.. AHH! Can’t seem to translate it into words. For the record, I unintentionally opened up to my mom & aunt about my unipolar/clinical depression which was utterly unplanned. It just came out natural. Well, I guess the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks indeed.
Just recently, the friend who I mentioned in my prior post/s that been my crying shoulder for quite sometime then suddenly left me alone without any valid reason or any single explanation just sent me message which brought me to tears – again. Saying she had life issues in the past that she chose not to share to anyone. And it just hit me, why do I easily trust people just as they find it hard to trust me? Though I respect other people’s decisions but there are just people who you just feel like it’s utterly too much for you to trust them again the way you did before. It’s like there’s this miniature wall built that’s stopping you to trust them again.

As what they say, if you love something/someone, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be. Ensuing with this look, well, as the weather here in MNL seems bipolar, so is me!

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Black Bowler hat from H&M | Shoes from SM GTW

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Little Me

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Hi there! Sorry for my insolvency this past months/weeks, well, due to our midterm and final period in my final year in college (hopefully!!), I can’t post as frequent as I usually do before.

On the other hand, I hope you don’t mind if I vent my feelings here. I just can’t take the fact that the world is like being turn upside down nowadays. In general, whether when it comes to friends, I’ve been encountering people that I got conflict with that the person seem to be insensitive and find it hard to admit her fault and not seem to know how to say sorry. It’s like that person is unbelievably expecting I would be the one to apologize despite of the fact that I’m not the one at fault. And I have another ex-friend who had been my “comforter” before about my problems with a certain guy. She’s been there for me at all times, especially when I need a shoulder to lean on. At that time, I was utterly thankful of having her in my life. Not until, the heartbreaking day came that she left me in an instant. No explanations, no signs of the idea of her, leaving me. Nothing. Not to mention that I send numerous messages to her in facebook, asking her what went wrong. But she chose to ignore all of those & fling off our friendship that I taught was a real one. It led me to wondering if real friends still exists these days. Only God does.

On the auxiliary aspect, subsequent to the avowed aspect, when it comes to love, oh boy! I think I don’t feel the need to elaborate it further. It makes me feel little even more that all of the said people is so much happy with their lives by putting someone down. With all of those, my thought of going to consultation is growing hefty than ever. Gee, I don’t know. So help me, God!

Proceeding with my look post, well, I must admit that this particular look is a backlog. Meaning, this was taken I think, last year! I just found out that I still have it and so, there. The statement top says it all! Don’t you agree? Just what I needed to do!

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Break Free

Annyeong! Okay okay, I know it’s been (almost) a couple of weeks since I should’ve posted my recent look post. And my apologies for the said matter. It’s just that these past few weeks have been the peak of our stressful requirements and activities since I’m in my final year on college (with God’s grace and mercy!!). With that, I can’t find enough time to post this one. Especially our final exams is coming up in two weeks and we’re like drowning with the stress due to some of our professors bombarding us with school works.

Not to mention my state right now. As some of you remember from my prior posts that I found out that I’ve been suffering from depression. And at this point in time, after reading various articles (from the net, newspaper & even listening unexpectedly in the radio), I’m pretty much puzzled as to what type of depression I’ve been tangled into way before. And I’ve been having thoughts of going into consultation perhaps, if time and ample courage permits me.
With regards with my look atm, well, I can’t seem to hold myself away from my excessive adornment with florals. ‪#‎SorryNotSorry‬ right there. Teehee!

There are really those times where we just don’t care if what we wear is in trend or not, what matters to us is our personal preference. Though I’m not saying that floral is out of trend or whatsoever, okay? My point is, we shouldn’t force or perhaps, sacrifice our own style preference just for us to be able to follow today’s trend. Got my point?

Flower Crown from Jellybean | Floral vest from Forever 21 | Shoes and skirt from SM Dept Store

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Ain’t Nobody

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Oh hey! How are you? As for me, well, it’s our final period which equates to numerous defense for our thesis, feasibility study and the like. In short, stress! What makes it heavier than ever is my state is getting worst. My clinical depression in particular. I felt like I’m tired of loving. Scratch that. It’s like I’m sick of being stuck in the same conundrum. Loving without being loved back.

It has been said that time heals all wounds. I don’t agree for the wounds remain. In time, the mind protecting its sanity covers them and the pain lessens. Sometimes, in order for us not to get hurt further, we have to set aside the why’s. There’s a lot of questions but you don’t get to fathom all the answers. Perhaps, in time, everything will be alright. Everyone is a fool when they’re in love. We defy all the logical things in the world.

Furthermore, what I’ve learned from it was if you’re meant to be with someone, it will happen. You can’t force love. Even if your first love becomes unrequited, you should move on. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Maybe someone better is meant for you. Someone who will always be there and will never ever give up on you whatever life renders you. Someone who would never hurt you intentionally and would never ever replace you with another.

Someone who will never takes pleasure in messing with your feelings and plays with it like some random toy from a toy store and throws it at the floor when they’re fed up with you. Someone who’s brave and man enough to prove to you how much you mean to them. Whatever it takes. Maybe mine was caught in a traffic. Or maybe not? Only God knows. We will meet in God’s time. *winks*

Okay the lovesick commotion ends here. Sorry if I always have those frequently here in le blog nowadays. Due to my tedious state and my fixation for indie and love drunk songs atm, dark pieces never gets old in my clothes. It’s more of a staple for me. As what they say, the clothes you wear reflects what you are and what you feel inside that you don’t get to express lightheartedly for the fear of getting misjudged.

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Floral Cover up from Diamond | Bow Headband from Forever 21 | Black Bow cuff from H&M

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In The Shallows

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Hazy afternoon, lovely people! Okay, yes. I know it’s been a month (well, almost!) since the last time I posted. Sorry, I really do. Midterms started last Saturday and we’ve been busy with not just one but two thesis! And my state is getting worst than ever.

Well, everyone of us have our share of self hate. That “not good enough” feeling. As for me, (I’ve mentioned this multiple times before) since I’ve encountered excessive bullying and rejection before (and up to this day) and many people that I hold dearly left me million times before, it makes me feel little every time it haunts me and the pain lingers like an endless conundrum I can’t seem to ascertain how to escape of.

At present, for the nth time, I spent and wasted too much time, effort, tears and feelings with someone who just abruptly toyed with my feelings. And there’s a terrifying part when you love a person too much. For the moment you fall for them, you fall for them with your whole entirety. It’s like every single fiber of you wants nothing but that guy/girl that it hurts.

The problem with me is that I fondly get attach with people easily, in general. And with that, I always give them all of me. Which people takes advantage of and takes for granted most of the time. What made it worst is that I have this one friend that suddenly disappeared into thin air. She’s like the one who comforted me before whenever the guy who toyed with my feelings get in the way with my emotions.

She somehow lessen the pain and made me feel I’m not alone. And one day, she constantly ignored all my messages to her on Facebook. I did think hard of all the probable reasons why she acted that way and led her to throw our friendship just like that. But I’m 100% sure that I did nothing wrong to her. WHAT’S WRONG PEOPLE?

With all the rejection, heartbreaks, pain and people who left me crying to sleep, I recently found out that I’ve been suffering from clinical depression. I read an article on the newspaper with regards to the difference between normal sadness and clinical depression and its symptoms.

And I conducted a little research on it and confirmed that I’ve been suffering from the latter. Thereafter, I realized that perhaps that’s one of the reasons I’ve been listening to sad songs than before lately. And I just make myself preoccupied with my love for fashion such as this. The wonders of mixing details together! Denim with frills, tutu skirt and printed polo rolled into one.

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Black Bow Head dress and Pink Tutu skirt both from Forever 21, Polo from Mango, Camo shoes from SM Dept. Store

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Simple As That

Annyeong! As some of you read in my preceding posts that I’m been very busy with school works and not to mention the tantrums of the Typhoon Glenda precluded me even more from getting things done. What made it worst is all the stress and disappointments ate me alive. I got sick last week that made me not attend my OJT duties and my Friday classes.

And if you’re wondering why I’ve been disappointedd these days, well. I affixed million times before that I fondly get attached too fast to people that I meet. Recently, I have this one friend that I met in our church. I got close to her in a snap of a finger. And as days and weeks go by, we became like salt and pepper. Then the next thing I know, she’s like avoiding and ignoring me like crazy. At present, I sent her numerous messages on Facebook and she left all of those unread up to now.

As far as I remember, I didn’t do anything that may lead us to this. And I was like, why do people find it easy to leave me hanging and throw our friendship/relationship in the trash bin just like that? I had enough of people leaving me for no apparent reason. It felt like I could form the littlest emotional attachment to any person in the world and still get hurt in the process. Friends, more than friends and the like.

What hurts the most is despite of all the pain that those people caused me, they have this special place in my heart that I don’t seem to find out how to remove. Rarely in our lives do we get what we wish for and you know you can’t hold on forever. For sometimes, it’s holding on that makes us weak. When you know you shouldn’t be missing that person who just took you for granted.

With that, perhaps we never really stop missing someone, even after you’ve moved on. You just simply get used to the fact that you’re missing them, changing the way you deal with their absence. Reverting to the real intention of this post, let’s proceed to the look itself.

With my earnest delight to relax due to exasperating school works, I opted to a more relaxed, hazy and casual look!

Striped Coverup from WAGW | Black Skater Skirt from SM Dept Store | Flower Crown from Jellybean

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Our Horizons Meet

For my look post today, staying true to what I’ve mentioned in my previous post, I will not leave my edgy self for too long. The wonders of my swirling moods on dressing up! Just like in real life, when it comes to love-hate relationship. People mistake its real meaning. Most of us believe that it’s the opposite of love.

But little did they know it wasn’t. It’s as strong as love. For you won’t hate someone without a reason. It has deeper meaning that equates to deeper emotions. Hate, truth to be told, is more bothering than love. Because you think of the person you hate than the one you love. As for me, I’m dealing with that conundrum right now. Loving someone so much and ended up hating the person.

Hating someone who hurt you is not the solution to moving on. It will just magnify your feelings to that person that sooner or later will develop into something big, something you feared the most the moment you decided to hate that person. Then I comprehended the fact that being bitter is not really for the better. You’re just fooling yourself. You feed your thoughts with stupid nonsense things just to satisfy your ego instead of letting everything go. Things may be hard, nothing in this world was certain. Nothing was a hundred percent sure. But the odds of failing should never get in the way of trying.

Ensuing with the details of this particular look, carrying on with playing with colors from my look prior from this one, I decided and just because I’m in the mood for I’m-in-the-streets-and-I-wanna-dress-up-a-bit kind of look, here’s the outcome!

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Bind Your Love

Oh hi, giddy earthlings! Well, as what I’ve avowed on my preceding look posts, I’m terribly busy and oh-so-stressed creature nowadays (due to my last year in college – thesis, feasibility study, group reports and the like). What makes me disturbed and … these days is that I really find it bothersome with the realizations I currently have that constantly messing up my heart.

Everyone gets hurt. Even when you’re older now, even if you know better, even if you understand. You can’t keep yourself from hurting. It just hit me that I encountered people who I felt I want to be around forever but ended up leaving me just like that and was meant to be an instrument to make me stronger. There’s always a risk to be taken when you fall in love, a blind leap of faith out there in a realm of unpredictability. What lies at the end of the road is bliss or heartbreak that we are to figure out eventually.

One thing that you’ll probably notice about yours truly if you would come to know me better is that I’m a fragile person. We’re all a piece of shell of what we used to be. What will distinguish as from the others is what kind of person we came to be after the storm we once get stuck into. (or perhaps, more than once!)

In view of what I mentioned in my look post prior to this one that I decided to take a break from my edgy-all-black self (not for long my friends! *winks*) and opt to playing rock, paper and scissors with colors. You don’t always cling to monochromatic pieces all the time. Sometimes you have to experiment and play the right contrast with divergent colors. But be careful not to overdo it though.

Jersey top from Bershka | Pink dress shirt (used as an undershirt) | Sneakers from Zoo York

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